I had the pleasure and sometimes frustration of leading my class for three years and one as the student body president. These experiences have defined me as a person in ways that I see in small ways every day. One of most defining moment in my high school life was representing our school at Carole’s funeral. It was the most difficult time looking out into the crowd and seeing so many people hurting and not being able to do anything to make it better. But what I have learned later in life is that I didn’t need to fix anything—we as a group healed together.
Our school community lived together and worked together. Of course not everyone got along, but when the chips were down, we pulled together.

I believe that these experiences early in our lives have taught us so much. That even today, we are more caring and compassionate to others in our community with the willingness to give more of ourselves because of what we have experienced.
So to Mike, Carole, and Alex’s families, know that even though the pain of losing someone we all loved so much, their spirit lives within all of their classmates. That their memories are carried with us and our actions to make our communities a better place are in their honor.

When we woke up, we jumped back on the bus for round two of the touring.  The busses are broken up into three lines and we were able to accomplish two of them in one day—rather impressive.  But we got off the bus at La Ramba and puttered around the Gothic Quarters and some of the side streets. Thanks to Selina, we were able to revisit The Black Sheep for sangria and tapas.   A pitcher of sangria and little food, I had a good buzz on and we explored a little more.  What I have noticed here is that my love for the Panini sandwich from Europe 2008 is still alive and well.  I eat them for lunch and I’m actually pretty full for the day.

Today, we slept in way later than we had planned.  We woke up around 11 and grabbed… you guess it a Panini sandwich and headed to the Basílica de la Sagrada Família.  We drove by this yesterday and the line was far too long for my liking.  However, thanks to a little research, I discovered you could buy tickets online and go straight inside the church.  I’m not a religious man, but this church is amazing.  Symbolic with every detail and a connection to nature, it really is a man-made wonder.  The uniqueness is only topped by its architectural genius.  We walked around the town a little bit more before we headed back to the bus and to the hotel for a little rest before the Sangria and us meet again.

But I have been moving so fast around doing everything when I can I have been mostly MIA to my friends.  If anyone has heard from me it’s been by text for a few minutes.  Especially because the rain has screwed the backyard project, anytime that I get this is sunny I’m out there trying to get ready for the grass to come in.  I’m super excited to have the grass FINALLY get installed tomorrow.  Then I’m about 70% done with the backyard project and I can get back to some sense of normalcy.  Oh wait, I’m getting married too.  Well scratch that.  Jen has been working so hard on the wedding that I really have defaulted to her because we have a divide and conquer method to this wedding.  I take care of the backyard; she takes care of the wedding.  We’ll meet somewhere in the middle.

Although, tomorrow will be a fantastic afternoon.   We had to have a few meetings with people that are involved with our wedding.  Instead of running around town meeting with these people, we’re making them come to happy hour at Christian Michael’s.  Nothing makes a meeting better than having a drink and half priced food.  So we will parade these people in and get our stuff done while I get my buzz on.  The last group should be the luckiest because I’ll be the loosest on the checkbook.

But for tonight, I am enjoying God’s little gift, some free water (aka rain) to moisten the ground for the install and a night where I don’t worry about anyone but me.  I get a little selfish when I stress out, but I just need to take a little time to regroup and tonight is it.  When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be ready to handle everyone else’s problems… if I feel like it.

I’m a pretty confident guy in general because I’m awesome.  The best way to crush my ego is put a hammer in my hand.  I instantly become a fat, pimply junior high boy with armpit sweat stains at a dance.  Got the visual?  Good.  It’s also not because I’m lazy.  I’m a hard worker… if I know what I’m doing.  So in this situation, you have to give me VERY specific directions in which you need to me to do.  If you don’t, well, I’m going to hire someone else who does know what they are doing.  And I’m not made of money either.  I just don’t want to fuck up the final product and have to pay someone else more money later to come and fix my mistake.

Speaking of money, this backyard project is going to easily rival the cost of our wedding.  Our backyard is huge and because I want it done correctly, I have to hire out help.  This being my second major project (the kitchen being the first), I hit a point of saturation where my brain just shuts down and I pull out the credit card.  You need 50 rebar?  You got it.  Sand?  Sure.  I’ll have it delivered too because I just want it done.  Call it my way of helping stimulate the economy.

When I’m free spending, I just go a little out of control.  My sense of a budget goes out of the window with the hopes if I throw enough money at the project it will get done.  Where did I learn this?  Why it’s the American way!  Just look at how our government operates… ahhh zing.

Lowe’s is usually my drug of choice.  Because I’m timid around construction projects, when I ask people for help (I don’t even try to figure it out on my own) my vocabulary becomes that of an 8 year old girl.  “I need that thingy that goes over a pipe and makes it go shut.”  Seriously.  I have said shit like that and ask myself if I really do posses a master’s degree.  The best thing I love about big box home improvement stores is that you can go into them five times a day and no one judges you because most of them don’t give a shit.  Normally this would bug me.  But just like going to that shady bar in your town, it’s best to remain anonymous.  So I go back and forth to Lowes buying and returning things because again I have no idea what I am doing.

What I DO know what I’m doing is saving money on my Lowe’s card.  I have a project card from them.  It gives me six months of interest free on projects over $1,000.  Now this project is EASILY over $1,000, but it’s not all coming from Lowe’s.  But I needed $1,000 NOW.  So what did I do?  I bought a tankless water heater to return later.  It got me over my $1,000 AND opened my project window to keep on charging.  If you’re wondering what I’m doing with our wedding gifts, now you know… paying my Lowe’s card … five months from now.

The manual labor, although not my favorite, hasn’t been bad.  My lower back hates me.  But I’ve been kicking its ass moving sand, mulch, dirt, concrete, and what other goodies I find back there.  At the beginning, I had my sidekick Conner… but lately I’ve been flying solo because of logistical issues.  But I swear yesterday I missed him because I finished the job and I didn’t break a single tool.  Just for the record since I started this project, Conner has broken a wheel barrel, a rake, and a push broom.  So to finish the day with all my tools intact is a successful one.

Today the sod guy came and told me that I had to till the ground (again) and we’d be good to go for the grass after the irrigation system was put in (yes, more money).  Finally, I got some good news on the project.  So if you’re playing at home here’s the scorecard on the yard:

1 hole that was supposed to be 4 inches but wound up being 6 inches in some places

1 Tree that was removed

2 Stumps grinded and mulch moved

6 yards of sands trucked in

1 sidewalk removed

1 giant step

1 door replaced

200 ft of ground till and will need to be retiled

1 gate attacked and will have to be repaired

1 blister

1 pair of shoes ruined

My pride is scattered among the yard somewhere

If you’re someone reading this that said, well I could have done that no problem.  That’s nice; but you can go away.  I admire you for ability to do all these neat projects.  But my talents are far reaching and can do other things.  For instance, write checks for people who I know can do a better job than me.  So when you’re still out there because you fucked up your patio for the fourth time by cutting corners, I’ll be having vodka and whatever I have in my fridge on my perfectly paved patio and grass.  Who would be the idiot then?

The way that I think of this to make it work for me is that we are not all pieces in a puzzle of life.  Nah, we’re more like legos.  We are interchangeable.  But we all connect some way or another to build something.  And then just like a five year old that is bored with their creation, we are flung apart and connected with new pieces.  Unless of course you’re one of the odd legos that can only connect from the bottom and can join together with no one else.  We all have THOSE people in our world and you know who I’m talking about right now.  But my point is we constantly in life being rebuilt with new legos and when the structure is done, it’s great.  Yet, most of the times it’s not going to last forever.  However, sometimes you’re lucky and you are part of something grand structure.  I mean something REALLY cool that is like Legoland quality.  Then, you should consider yourself blessed for the amazing opportunity.

In my life, I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful support unit of friends.  They are so many weird legos that I’ve collected in my life.  They are all different shapes and colors.  Some are Fox News Loving Republicans and others are tree hugging Democrats.  There are a bunch in between too.  But the main thing is that we connect.  If I lose a lego here and there, I’m sad about it, but it’s not going to be the end of the world.  There are so many other legos in my life that I can build.  I’m not going to rack my brain on the why someone doesn’t or can’t be friends with me.  I know I’m awesome and there are others who value my friendship and would enjoy the time we spend together.  I’m not bitter.  It’s just the fact of life… sometimes the legos are not in the right combination.

Just I don’t try to throw away relationships.  I just put them off to the side with the hope that one day, when the situation is right, we can build something great again.  A good friendship isn’t just about the good times; it’s also being there when things are bad.  Those friends that have stuck around for both with me… those are Legoland quality and know that I love and value what we have built.

Family, Friends, Faculty, and fellow classmates of the Class of 1998 of Wheatland High School and/or Class of 2011 of Yuba City High School,  I come to you a wiser man.  Not by the fact that someone over night flew over my bed and bestowed all this knowledge on me.  Although that would be pretty awesome, the reality is that I’ve been kicked in the shins a couple of times by life.  But the best thing about getting bruised up is that eventually you heal and go back to normal life a little bit smarter.   Hopefully you don’t do it again, because who likes to walk around with bruises all day?

The reality of the fact is that I am not famous beyond my little circle of influence.  I’m awesome; there’s no doubt about that.  But the fact is that I never really wanted to be famous in the first place.  I just want to live a good life and share it with the people I love.  So to tell you to go out there and change the world would be a little hypocritical of me.  I hope that the little things that I do in life like what I am doing now is my way of creating some change in our world.  Although after being in my speech for a little under a minute now, I would hope you would be kind to me on your tweets, texts, or facebook statuses.  I’m just warming up.  But the change you want to create might be monumental and I wish that you obtain that change.  For me, I just want to make our world a better place a little bit at a time.  I’m much more personal than getting on TV and pledging for money for our world’s disasters.  We need those people out there as well—I am just not one of them.  My contribution is paying forward what was given to me.  I have people I’ve encountered through my job or teaching that I have served as a guide just as adults in my teenage years did for me.  They listened to me complain and called me on when they knew I was trying to give less than my best.  There are people in your life whether it is a teacher, friend, family member, or random person you met in your life that are rooting for you.  They will have or already have made sacrifices for you to help you achieve your goals.  When you reach that point when you can give back, do so.  Find someone who needs your help and pay it forward.  I know this sounds a bit cheesy, but it really does work—plus it’s a pretty good movie too.  You will be in a position to help someone else—older or younger—that can benefit for what you can offer them.  Share it.

The other thing I would recommend sharing is your friendship.  High school was a great four years for me.  Although it wasn’t the best years of my life—it was just the platform in which I flew.  This is just a very small window of time in your life.  And I can be honest and say high school has been hell for some of you in the crowd.  For that I apologize that you didn’t find what you needed.  But don’t give up.  In June, you will move on from here a stronger person and you will find what you seek.  A place of acceptance and comfort tailored for your needs.  High school, no matter where it is, tries to be everything to everyone.  But it’s just not possible.  Yet, you have two months left in this place to make the best of it.  If you’re carrying anger for not fitting in, let it go.  For those stopping others from being accepted, let it go.  We all share a common experience here and just keeping people down to keep them down is juvenile and requires just too much energy than just acknowledging people for who he or she is.  I’m not saying everyone has to have a giant group hug after this speech, but smiling and saying hello to people as you pass them makes a big difference.  I challenge you to just go one day to say hello to everyone you make eye contact with in the halls.  Not only will you freak them out, an added bonus for you, but you turn their impression of you just a little bit.  And honestly, when I am out and about in schools or in the wild as I refer the rest of the world, I love freaking people out by saying hello to strangers or holding the door open for them.  When people ask me how I’m doing my usual response is “living the dream.”  I don’t say it with sarcasm or meanness because in reality that is what I am doing… living my dream.  Sure, there are things that I don’t really want to do.  But those tasks allow me to do the things I love.

This is a special note to those girls in the audience.  If you’re mad with one of your friend over a boy, let it go big time.  Most of the times, by the time your high school reunion rolls around they are either bald or fat.  Your friendship is worth more than relationship.  Guys, you handle conflict differently and we know how’s that’s done.   So we’ll leave it at that.

I am in the process of getting married this summer.  I say it’s a process because I feel like I’m writing a peace treaty for the Middle East.  Which brings me to my next point… don’t get married until you know who you are as a person first.  I love my fiancée very much.   I am happy that I am coming to her in the state I am not the way I was five years ago.  I did a lot growing in my twenties.  I learned much.  I traveled all over the world.  I got to experience what I needed to feel accomplished.  For everyone, it’s different.  But just be aware that before you bring someone else in your life that you know who you are as an individual first.  I have seen too many of friends marry when they weren’t ready only to find out later that they grew distant and changed from his or her partner.  For you, figure out what YOU want to accomplish in life.  It might be completing college, traveling, obtaining a certain financial status, or taking care of some emotional business.   Take a moment to figure out what YOU want out of life first, then go out and get it.

Now I might get in trouble for my next point.  But land the helicopters kids. If you are unaware of the term helicopter mommies and daddies, it means parents who hover over their children and never give them any room to do anything on their own. You’re going out into the world as legal adult now.  You have to stop letting your parents do everything for you.  Take some responsibility for your life and its direction.  Nothing is more frustrating for me to have my fiancée  come home from work at Chico State and tell me that someone met with a student and her mother today.  First, back in my day (and I’m only eight years out), I would never call my parents to come meet with someone on campus with me… unless they wanted a check.  Even then my parents, who were pretty aloof to the whole college thing, would tell me to figure it out.   On one hand, I always held a little resentment to my parents for not being more involved in my life, but in this situation, I was glad for their complete lack of enthusiasm.  It made me struggle in college indirectly and has made me more appreciative for my achievements that hang on my wall.  I’m not saying to cut your parents completely out of your life but they should be getting progress reports from you not their approval on everything you’re doing.

BECAUSE, you’re going to make mistakes in life… lots of them.  Some will be minor and some will be colossal.  I remember a poster that used to hang in Ms. Miranda’s class when I was in high school.  It said a mistake doesn’t become an error until you refuse to fix it.  Mistakes in life will happen but how your respond and recover from them will define your character.   Don’t be afraid to admit you messed up and try to make it right.  Whether it is with your friends, family, or a loved one, always begin with a thoughtful and sincere apology and then try to make it right for them.  And trust me, those big mistakes, you won’t forget them.  They will still give you a little shiver when you think about them years from when they happened.  But it will remind you of the lesson you learned and keep you moving forward.

A movie that is near and dear to my heart is “Meet the Robinsons.”  If you haven’t seen the movie, I would recommend it.  One of the main premises of the movie was based on Walt Disney’s philosophy (no consciences that Disney produced the movie) was keep moving forward.  You can’t dwell on the what ifs or how comes in life.  Instead, keep your head pointed up and work with the situation you have.  I try to avoid cliques but this one is funny to me.  When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.  I love it.  Because it’s true… why complain that someone has put an obstacle in your way?  Instead, use that obstacle to work for you.  Plus I really like lemonade anyways.

Lemonade always tastes better with friends and loved ones on a hot summer day. Find ways to expand your support unit.  Wherever your path takes you from here, find a mentor or five to help you show you the way.  I was lucky enough in high school and college to find people in my life that shared a common vision and were able to help guide me through my experiences.  Some of these mentors are still good friends of mine and I look to them as friends now.  I am forever in their debt and the only way I know how to repay them is to take others under my wing to help guide them.  Each year, either as a Herff rep or as a teacher, I always had one or two project students.  These were students that tended to gravitate to me because face it, I’m pretty awesome.  But there was something that I could teach them beyond my content area or job.  I taught them about life as how I see it.  That’s what I’m doing now on a larger scale, I’m teaching you about life as I see it.  Everyone in this world has a story to tell about how they got where they are… rags to riches people, homeless, war veterans, grandparents, to your own parents.  Take a moment to ask your parents or grandparents about how they grew up.  The people that I have the most respect are my grandparents.  My grandfather was a Depression baby that grew up with nothing in Oklahoma and worked his way on the railroad to San Francisco with nothing in his wallet.  He worked hard to build a family and businesses through his life.  When he married my grandmother, he didn’t have much.  But he would work two jobs and eventually built a good life for him and his family.  He was one of my biggest cheerleaders when he was alive.  When I was younger, part of our family’s tradition would be for my grandparents to come visit on Sundays and we would do our shopping together.  I would get a $10 allowance from them and it was my favorite day of the week… not just because of the money.  My mom, grandma, and sisters would roam around the stores.  Sometimes I would join them or other times, I would go sit with my grandpa in the car especially during football season.  He was an adamant 49ers fan and he would listen to the game on the radio.  It was during these little moments I learned so much about him and his journey.  It made me appreciate everything he and my gma did for me.  I didn’t hurt that I was their favorite.  But even though he’s gone, my gma always reminds me that she doesn’t miss him because I remind her so much of him… just as feisty.

Being feisty doesn’t make me mean.  I care about the people and world around me.  If you really knew me, you would know that I would do anything I can to help someone.  However, one of the lines I remember sticking with me from a television show character was “don’t take my kindness as a sign of weakness.”  I encourage you to help others when they are in need.  Also, just because someone is always there for you, doesn’t give you the right to take advantage of the kindness.  I will tell you one thing about me; I don’t allow people to take advantage of me.  I learned that there’s a line that I’m willing to take to help someone.  Once that line is crossed, I will let you know.  I am not a weak person, but I am kind.

When you encounter a kind person like me that is willing to help you, take it.  Don’t take advantage of the person, but accept what they are willing to offer you.   I’ll tell you for a fact that I will never OFFER someone to help move.  I might have to be guilted or bribed into doing it.  Nothing is worse than helping someone move because it’s always mass chaos and tons of work.  Yet, I’ll help you fix your computer no problem.  My therapist told me something really valuable about people offering to help you… if they didn’t want to help you, they wouldn’t offer.   I used to always felt guilty asking or taking help from others around me.  But when you think about it the way my therapist presents it, why should I deny them the blessing of helping me?

For you never know when someone might be back in your life.  I believe you should never burn a bridge in life if you don’t have to do it… you might not know when you have to cross it again.  Meaning, don’t destroy a relationship if you can avoid it.  Of course, you might break up with someone or decide at that moment that your relationship as it is isn’t working.  But over time, you might find yourself in a different situation where you and that person can work.  I would use my friend Jake as an example.  We didn’t speak for four or five years because we had a different opinion about choices in his life.  Did I hate him?  No.  We just didn’t agree on some big stuff.  But when his mother got cancer and passed away last year, we were both in a place where we could be friends again.  I never lost value the relationship I had with my friend, just at that time, the bridge we built wasn’t being used.  But when we needed it, it was there for us.

We cross paths with so many people in our lives over time.  You never know when someone you encounter will be monumental in your life.  People that I love and value having in my life I couldn’t even believe where I met some of them.  Some are from my job, college, or childhood that you expect.  Then there are the random friends I meet in the airport, conferences, at the gym, out and about in town, or through other friends.  When I think about how I meet these people, I begin to wonder to myself if I am a crazy magnet.  Possible.  But really what it is that I don’t close myself off to people.  Going against all what you know already, strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.  Now, I’m not suggesting you climb into a van with someone who is offering you candy.  In normal, safe environments, if you strike up conversations with people, you really are sharing a part of you.  Over time, you might see them often (like I do with my gym buds) and you slowly build a friendship.  But I surprise myself sometimes when I talk to some other friends and I mention who I know and how, they are amazed by how connected I am. I’m not really connected because I want to be connected.  I am connected because I was brave enough to say hello first.

As I close my ramblings, if I could leave you with anything it’s this.  From the words of Natasha Bedingfield’s song  “Touch”

Every choice we’re making, every road we take
Every interaction starts a chain reaction
We’re both affected when we least expected it

She’s right you know.  Every choice you make set off a new path in your life.  Nothing in life is by chance.   You set yourself up by the decisions you make.  I can trace things back in my life to a decision that I made.  I can trace my decision to leave teaching that brought me to my marriage and being with you right now.  But I also affected those around me.  From my friends and students I left in Salinas to you today.  I am grateful for the opportunities this life has given me so far.  I am truly blessed with a great life and good health that I can’t show my appreciation enough.  The best way I can do it is encourage you to look for the good around you and try to help others find the good surrounding them.  When you graduate in June, I wish you nothing but good health and prosperity.  I won’t wish you luck because I know in this life, nothing is by luck.  You will make your destiny and I know it will be amazing.  Now go forth and be great.

I ran into an experience this week that just proved how fragile people can be in their behavior.  I know I can come across as aggressive and to the point.  To be honest, it’s just a way to speed up the process of you trying to bullshit me and we can get to the real issue.  I don’t have the time or the emotional energy to invest in your excuses.  When it comes down to it, can you do what is asked of you or not?  If not, you suck. But it’s okay. We’ll work around it.  But to create unnecessary drama for everyone around you is bullshit.  Just because you can’t handle your shit you now have to drag everyone else into it.  I think it’s a crap out for not owning up to the fact that you’re emotionally incapable of dealing with the problems in your life.

What this experience has taught me is a.) I’m awesome because I can be an adult and be rational and b.) people just think you’re going to be politically correct because they can’t do their job.  Fuck that.  I have expectations that are set either by other people or by me.  When you can’t meet the expectations own up to it–don’t hide behind some false morals to try to tame me.  It’s not going to work.  In fact, it’s just going to piss me off even more.  If I’m disappointed in your actions, I’m not just going to try to be nice and say everything is okay.  I’m sorry, but that’s just not the way my world works.

Now, I’m coming off as ruthless.  It’s not that.  If someone owns up that they dropped the ball or there are external effects that are preventing them from doing their job, I will more than understand and probably offer my assistance if it would help.  I just don’t like when people place the blame on me when they get their job done on their own.

Part of my personality based on the enneagram is that I’m a three.  We don’t deal with drama.  Three’s don’t care.  If I had a poster for my work ethic it would say “Suck it up and get it done.”  I don’t bore people with my problems that I’m having.  I share them with my support unit and do the best job I can do.  But when I screw up (and yes it’s hard to believe that indeed I am not perfect), I own it and try my best to make it right.

My little rant is based on a shitty experience that I’m not going to share on my blog.  But it indeed has taught me a lot in dealing with irrational people.  I don’t have to deal with irrational people often.  That sounds hard to believe because I encounter so many people on a daily basis.  But I believe that most people have the ability to be rational if you are rational with them.  There are some that take more time than others, but in the end I think we can work together.  But irrational people usually have some unmet need that is prohibited them from thinking rational.  So my lesson for today is that if you are sounding irrational most of the time, deal with the issue in your life that is making you nuts.  Because until you do, you’re going to continue to be irrational and piss me off more.

So this blog has been brewing but I haven’t really have found the time or motivation to write it.  So I have been building up some items in my head to write.  So here we go…

Checking in on Facebook

It’s so cute and adorable that you feel everyone should know where you are every living second of your day.  First, I don’t care.  If you’re not hanging with me then I don’t want to be bothered by what you’re doing because it’s either one, better than what I’m doing at the moment because I’m on facebook reading it or two, putting me to sleep that you checked in at the local grocery store.  Also keep into consideration that weirdo stalker that you added and forgot.   Check into a bar on Saturday night? Guess who is going “accidentally” run into you?  You got it.  Creepy stalker guy/girl.

Finally, I don’t know if people realize it or not, but by advertising you’re not home is great way to get your house robbed.   Again, I refer back to creepy stalker guy/girl who breaks into your house to steal your underwear for their shrine.  And while they are there, they jack your TV.  Not cool at all my friends.

Wedding Planning

Our list has gone a little nutso.  But what’s funny is that it’s not us that are driving us nuts… it’s everyone else.  I would like to say that as much as I appreciate all the help, we have to remind people that this is not their wedding.  We are trucking right along the way we want it, but everyone wants their two cents.  It’s tough to smile without cracking.  Oh but that’s why alcohol was created.    We love you… but back off at bit.

Last weekend was the start of the renovations to the backyard.  It was a hoot.  My first encounter with a tiller was fun.  It kicked my ass.  By the time we were done (two dump runs later) our yard is now a mud pit.   I know it’s going to be great in the end.  It’s just hard for me to be in the in between stage.  I’m just a few steps away from popping “The Money Pit” into the DVD player to talk me off the ledge.  That movie always reminds me that it is always not as bad as it could be.  Plus I found a way to use my Native American roots to score a grant to help pay for the renovations.  YES!

Working Out

Conner has me feeling guilty for eating sweets.  Competing with a 16-year old to stay in shape is not the best idea.  But in a way it is.   Case in point, Jen bought me a Reese’s heart for V-day that she just found in her closet I suppose.   I was going to eat it, but then I realized I would have to answer to him… and it’s not really worth it.  I guess the best part of it is that he keeps me honest with it.  I had to claim my milkshake last week but damn it was worth it.  Do I really need to get in better shape?  Not really, I’m a freaking stud.  However, you can always get better and it’s nice to have to some push you.

The Logic of United

Speaking of pushing, United kept me on hold for 57 minutes and didn’t change Jen’s flight.  Now, I wasn’t asking to actually change her flight, but instead cancel the outbound portion of it.   Jen has to be down in LA earlier because of the conference for her new job.  So I would figure that canceling it would be easy because I wasn’t asking for a refund (I used a voucher anyway).  But after talking to two foreign people on the phones it was no dice.  First they tried to charge me $200 to change a flight that cost $200 total.  Fuck you.  They backed the $150 change fee off and wanted me to pay the difference in the new flight.  Mind you I’m not changing a flight… just making a round trip a one way.  I’m actually SAVING them money by not having Jen on the flight so some other fat fucker can sit next to me on that tiny plane paying twice what I did.  No dice.  Fine, you might have won the battle, but you certainly did not win the war.  Like I said before… I have the patience of Chinese general.  They knew they get Hong Kong back one day from the British and I will get win this war.  And when I do win, I’m going to call back supervisor SU4 and tell him to lick my nuts.  Don’t fuck with a champion.

I’ve hit the point of boredom at SFO.  I have been here since 3p and my flight doesn’t leave for about another hour.  So I finally got in the mood to write a little more in my blog.  I have been in San Diego since Wednesday for a work conference.  I enjoyed the conference but not as much as I usually do.  I used to look at it as a fun time to party and reconnect with friends.  Now, it’s more work with hanging out with a few close friends that I’ve met through the years and Patrick.  It was a very productive few days working and networking for next year.  But I was so out of there the minute I could.  Mainly because it wasn’t fun and secondly I have become so jaded about the organization that just wants kick back after kick back that it is sickening.  I just hope that I didn’t treat my partners at my schools like this organization treats us.

But on Friday, I was free.  I got the car and headed to my hotel I was staying for the rest of the weekend.  It was in the Liberty Station area of San Diego.  I would highly recommend the area if you’re visiting San Diego because it’s a nice neighborhood that is rather easy to get to downtown with downtown prices.  When I got to the hotel I really needed to work out because I hadn’t worked out since Tuesday.  Although I am self disciplined about working out, my body gets weird if I don’t work out for a few days in a row.  I was definitely at that point between not working out, drinking, and eating like crap for three days.  Also because Conner is keeping me in check on my workouts, I have to keep going to keep up with him.  We are keeping each other disciplined on eating and working out because we talk all the time, if we don’t  work out or eat well, we have to listen to the other make fun of you .  It’s not worth that cookie to listen to him mock me.

But after I worked out, I went up to UCSD to pick up Hayden for the night.  Hayden was my 2010 project and is currently a freshman there.  What didn’t work for either of us is that I’ve never been to UCSD.  Normally this wouldn’t be a problem if Hayden knew the general area in which he lived.  After about 20 minutes of driving around the campus in the dark, I found his dorm and picked him up.  We hung out in the hotel that night and the next morning picked up Michelle for lunch.  I took them to one of my favorite restaurants in SD except I was blinded by the breadsticks.  The breadsticks are like a hot girl.  They are what brought you to the party but once you look past her, there’s nothing really going to keep you there.  The food was crap and I fell out of love with the breadsticks in the process.  Utterly defeated, we took Michelle and her friends to the airport and I dropped Hayden off on campus.

My next stop was to visit with Maximus who was my 2009 project and he’s a sophomore at SDSU.  We went to lunch (I had ice cream which I was mocked by Conner) and caught up on life since we hadn’t hung in a while.  It was great to catch up with him and just hope he spreads his wings even more this year.  I hung out in his apartment after lunch which reminded me what happens when five guys live together.  I never lived with more than three people and there was always a girl in the mix.  My house never looked like that… but it was fun.  Why?  One of the roommates is sleeping on a mattress in living room on top of foze ball table.  That’s classic college.  Oh I remember the days of being a college kid and that’s not how I could live.  I’m too much of a neat freak to handle that.

I got back to the hotel for a little nap and after too much fun on Friday night, I wasn’t down with another night of debauchery.  I decided to stay in and just go for a run and hangout.   I went for a run along the bay which was a great end to the trip and to run off the booze and food to get back where I was before I left.  Afterwards I had some Subway and went down to the hot tub to relax.  I met a cool family that is has been staying at the hotel since December (it’s an extended stay property) because they had storm damage to their house.  They had a son going to college and I think I sold him on Chico State.   We also got on the conversation about points and traveling.   They have racked up some serious points staying there and we were talking about how to spend them.

I went to bed early and woke up to go on another outdoor run because I figured with it raining so much up north, I don’t know when I would have a chance to enjoy such weather.  I went on a great run and had breakfast.  Then about 11 a.m., I started to gear up to go home when I got a phone call from United. Which brings me to the ratchet in my weekend…

I was supposed to fly home from San Diego to San Francisco and connect to Chico.  My flight from SFO to Chico was cancelled.  Any time that I fly to Chico there is always going to be a problem with flights.  I figure in the past year, I have racked up at least $1500 in flight vouchers and 20,000 miles because I’ve been stuck somewhere or something happening to me on United.  The other problem about flying to Chico is that the flights are limited.  So when my 4p flight was cancelled, the next one isn’t until 9:30 at night.    I have become pretty familiar with SFO and honestly as much as I would like to get home, I can get what I would get done at home here.  Being stuck here for six hours isn’t the end of the world… but you know I’m going to make United pay for it.   I get on the phone and wait the 15 minutes on hold to get an agent and calmly explain my disappointment with having to sit in SFO for six hours and what a huge inconvenience it is.  Boom… $200 voucher.  What’s funnier is that I paid for this trip on another voucher so I really got $350 from this trip.

Since 3p, I have been wondering around SFO.  I found a workstation and knocked out some wedding stuff and work to pass the time.  Then I had dinner and I started to wonder.  I found another work station and started to try to watch Hulu… but apparently that wasn’t happening on their network.  So I was looking for people on facebook, e-mail, or anything.  Lacking motivation to do much, I just started people watching.  But now I got my motivation to write my blog for the weekend.  I am going to try to make an effort to write more on my rants this week because I’m sure someone is going to piss me and I’ll write about it.

This was a pretty good weekend.  It started a little early on Thursday when I basically drove to The City for dinner.  It started out as this grand plan of making a weekend out of it and kind of fell apart.  Jen was supposed to meet me down there in SF (we have United points to burn) and then go to dinner that evening with the company.  I was going to go to the conference for the day and then fly home while she took the car and visited her friends.  Jen had to work so scratch her out of the plan.  And oh, there’s nothing going on at the conference on Friday for you either.  Scratch that too.  Well, that just leaves me with a really nice prepaid hotel room in The City and a dinner to attend.  Gma had a day off on Friday so I switched my plans and drove to Pleasanton and met up with my buddy Michael and rode BART into the city.  Not only did this add a trip to visit my awesome Gma (and if anyone says anything different about her I’ll cut ya) but I saved myself at least $50.  One, I don’t have to pay tolls to drive into the city ($9). And two, the cheapest parking I found overnight was $39 plus tax.  Plus I don’t have to deal with the obnoxious 80 traffic going over the bridge.  So I figured this was a pretty good plan.  After lunch on Thursday I headed down to meet Michael.

As I mentioned before, I love driving in the Bay Area because it’s like playing a real life game of Frogger.  I jump from lane to lane and I get a little giggle when I see a logging truck because it really reminds me of the game.  But I got to Pleasanton BART station and I had read before that I could leave my car there for 24 hours for $1.  Yes, I saved $40 by parking there and no tolls.  Score.  Well it was raining pretty hard and as most of you know I think I’m made out of sugar and I might melt when wet.  Not really.  I don’t mind the rain at all.  But if I can avoid getting drenched, I try to take advantage of it.  I parked rather close to the station and went to the machine to pay to park.  When I get there it says I am paid until 4a.  Problem.  I don’t plan on returning to the Pleasanton area before 4 A.M.  I start to panic, but decide I’ll figure it out so I pay my dollar and head into the station.  Michael was running a bit late so we took the next train leaving the station.  In the meantime, the parking situation was on my mind.  Part of the reason I added 45 minutes on my trip other than to see Gma was to save money on this pointless trip.  A ticket of at least $20 would not piss me off, but would also make my plan a complete and utter failure.  I get on my phone and read that the lot I parked in is privately owned HOWEVER the parking structure is BART owned and can park there for 24 hours.  I deliberate that since I already paid a whole dollar to this evil private company that I should take my chances.  But then the voice of reason kicked in and told me to move my car.  I walked back out to the lot and moved my car to the structure.  This structure is the biggest clusterfuck I’ve encountered in the parking structure department.  They had so many signs saying permit required during this time, but not this time… reserved parking… single day only… I was so overwhelmed that I had no clue where I could actually park.  Finally by the third level I just gave up and parked and started to develop a case to argue when I got the ticket.  I paid BART $1 for parking and prayed.  Yes, I had just doubled my parking expenses for nothing.

We got into the city and it was pouring down rain.  I had my rain jacket but my friend was dressed smartly… sans an umbrella or hood.  Now, if I was wearing a $1,000 suit, I would make sure that I had something to keep it dry.  But in his defense he was not made aware of my plan to do this trip as cheap as possible or my enjoyment of walking in the city in general.  Google Maps was confused and we took the roundabout way to get to the hotel which sits on top of Nob Hill.  It’s a beautiful hotel with a fantastic bar on the top level with an amazing view of the surrounding area.  We had a few drinks then headed to dinner after his jacket dried off.

Dinner was kind of a blur.  Maybe it was because I was hungry or most likely it was the fact that I had four glasses of wine before dinner was served.  Needless to say I was feeling good.  The company was nice enough to hire us a limo to take us where we needed to go.  And where I needed to go was to hang out with my college roomie Steve at another bar.  I connect up with him and have a few more drinks and some cake.  By 10:30, I am completely fried.  I am ready to call it a night and Steve drops me off at my hotel.  Somewhere around 5 A.M. I wake up from my drunken stupor with a massive hangover.  I get up to take some advil and go back to sleep.  What was unusual was I was drinking good stuff all night which just proves that my body is not really as picky as I thought.

I woke up feeling better a little later and headed out back to Pleasanton.  When I got to my car I had resigned myself to having a ticket waiting for me.   Yet, the parking gods had shined down on me and didn’t give me a ticket.  I guess I did park in the right place.  I drove over to Tracy and hung out Gma for a few hours and got caught up on the family business.  I really miss not having her in Chico because it’s just fun to hang out with her and do little things.  We used to go to Target and our errands together then go to dinner on Sundays.  It was our thing.  But I had to head home to get back to Chico for dinner with our friends Spencer and Jenny.

We met them for dinner at Smokin Moes for some bbq.  I can’t complain that bbq is always good no matter when it is.  We hung out at the restaurant where I discovered that Spencer has the same mean streak I have and I love it.  He knows how to get the truth out of those kids.  We then headed over to dueling pianos because Jenny wanted to check it out.  We got there early so we could have a table.  When the show started I swear that is was like the scene out of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”  If you don’t recall that movie, here’s the clip:

It was fun but I felt I was in that club between the pianist and the crowd.  I was just waiting for Betty Boop to offer me cigarettes.    Thankfully, Jenny and Spenser felt the same way and we bolted.

Saturday morning I dropped Jen and Vanessa off at Nash’s for brunch while they had girl time and my buddy Conner came to visit.  Before Conner got here, I picked them up from brunch where they were they met a short gun salesman (wonder why guns were his calling) that was trying to pick up on Vanessa.  Jen had a few glasses of OJ in her and was ready to plan.  I dropped them off at Vanessa’s house and I got to hang out with Conner.  I talk to Conner pretty much all day via text.  He’s the rally commissioner at one of my schools and has become a good friend.  Most of our conversations keep us both entertained for the day, but we don’t hang out much in person.  So he came up and we went and worked out.  Normally I don’t enjoy working out with people doing weights because they slow me down and I rock out.   But I actually enjoyed working out with him because he matches me workout ethic and tempo it was a good push.  We’ve actually been pushing each other to get stronger while working out.  I know it’s dumb to get in a competition with a 16 year old working out, but I think we both benefit.  We also went on a nice run outside and hit the hot tub.

When we got back to my place we started the uphill battle of educating Conner on pop culture.  I joked with him that he lives in a cave.  The first movie I had him watch was Clue—one of my favorites.  It’s SUPER campy, but full of one liners.  Then I broke him into the John Hughes library with Weird Science.  It is hilarious how much more raunchy 80s movies are compared to today’s flicks.  The difference is that in the 80s they were coy about it and now it’s overt whether you want to see it or not.  Finally the Woodstock’s pizza showed up (It’s like crack for Conner) and we had a nice carpet picnic with Jen.  I also broke him into Mario Party where we all got beat by the computer… super lame.  If there are three real players, the computer shouldn’t win it on bonus stars.  It’s bullshit.  But Conner had to bail home and I met up with some of my buddies for cocktails.

I’m going to talk about my buddy Loren for a second.  I met him through my friend Speed Bump.  Loren is great.  He’s a smart guy that has a lot of the same interests as me.  So we always have lots to discuss.  But where Loren and I differ is confidence.  I know I’m awesome.  Ask me and I will tell you.  Loren is up there too, but doesn’t want to admit it to himself.  Last night was an example of it.   Not only is Loren a smart guy, he’s pretty good looking too.  My point is that he has a lot going for him and I’m dealing with a grenade here.  But besides normal drinking debauchery, Loren was only successful at talking to ladies when they were old.  I mean not only in age, but in appearance.  These ladies that were in line with us at LaSalles looked like they were rode hard and put away wet.  With their faux fur jackets, cupcakes, and smiley face balloon for the bouncer.  Yes, cupcakes.  They offered us one but I was scared they were drugged and I would wake up in a ditch with my underwear missing.  But Loren ate not one, but two and was a little chatter box with these ladies.  When we got into the bar, they split and we were on our own again.  After a while we migrated to the Bear where again in line we met another girl.  This time she was a college student that was actually a nice girl.  I’m not saying she was a knock out, but she was nice and willing to talk.  I tried again to help him out but no luck.

Now, I’m not picking on Loren for his lack of skills. Because it’s not that he lacks skills, he lacks the self confidence to go after what he wants.  I think many people lack it because they are scared of the rejection.  Trust me, I’ve been rejected plenty of times for things I really wanted.  Did it slow me down?  Sure… for about five minutes while I developed a new plan for getting what I want.  I don’t expect things to be handed to me.  Sometimes it is and I’m thankful.  But most of the times I have to put in the work and use my knowledge (my good looks don’t hurt either) to get what I wanted.  Do I get EVERYTHING  I want?  Certainly not.  But I’ve been successful enough to build that confidence that I need to push my agenda.  Because if you don’t have an agenda you’ll not only bullshitting me, you’re bullshitting yourself.   Everyone has a plan for life.  Now if you accept that then you can start realizing that your friends and those around you can help you achieve what you want.  I’m not saying use your friends.  That would be wrong.   But your friends (at least I am) are willing to help you achieve your goals as long as you don’t take me for granted or step on me to achieve more.  But there’s a saying that together everyone achieves more.  It’s more than some cheesy moniker coaches use.  It’s a truth that your friends are going to be there to help you as long as you let them where you are going in the first place.