Filed under: Uncategorized
I just got off the phone with my friend Patrick who lives in Arizona. We were talking about a variety of things tonight from timeshares to business. But we got on the topic of women. I was trying to describe to him that this woman I met was cute, but not hot. Yet, it wasn’t a dig at her. It’s a completely different scale of looking at women. After discussion, this is what we decided:
Hot- Hot has a shelf life. Yes, they are very attractive. But as the years pass on, the hottness wears off and then you’re stuck with the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Very unhappy and bored women that take pleasure in emasculating men. They are also very good looking, but rarely bring anything else to the table. T Hot you bring to a wedding to make your friends jealous. hey are not someone who would enjoy a homecooked meal and a movie in. Instead they want the finest dinner and going out–all at your expense of course. It’s not all their fault. Mostly it’s the men who have met her before you. They have treated her like it was their lucky day to be with someone so attractive and you must give her the best or she’ll ditch you. But in the end, they will ditch you if someone else can give them more.
Cute- Cute has long lasting staying power. They are women that grow into their looks like a good wine. Like wine, you can uncork it right now and it will still be pretty good. However, give it some time, and it will be unbelieveable. Cute women also have the equal looks of a hot woman, but bring more than looks with her. Most have ambition, a job, and a brain. They are someone that fights with you over a topic. They are also someone you bring to a bbq and have a great time and your friends like. Cute returns your phone calls or text.
Women get offended when they get called cute because they aren’t puppies. But like puppies, guys (this one in particular) want someone to that brings something to the relationship. Hot just shits on your rug and goes off and does something to make you forget it. Cute hangs out with you when your sad looking for a way to cheer you up. So by my definition and explanation women won’t get pissed when I call them cute next time. It means I actually like you.
Filed under: Uncategorized
That’s what I want to do to my backyard. Bite the pin and launch a grenade. I really hate yards and I have a doozie of a backyard. When I bought the house, the backyard was pathetically done. The previous owners had a garden of some sort and a compost pile. So no grass for the robman in certain areas of the yard. In addition there isn’t an underground sprinkler system. Instead, I have a patchwork of above ground sprinklers on various timers around the house.
Playing with the sprinklers has been a pain in my ass for about the last month when I realized I had to water the lawn daily. Adjusting the range of each sprinkler to make sure it actually watered what was needed instead of the road, fence, or my windows. I have them set to go off around 6a each day so the grass doesn’t burn. With all of them running, it’s going to suck when I have to take a shower that early and not have water pressure. It’s already happened the few times I’ve been up that early since June. Well this morning, I was tired of being woken up (I still had three hours of sleep coming to me) by the sprinkler hitting the window of the mudroom. So I went outside to adjust the sprinkler quickly with plans to go immediately back to bed. Not gonna happen. I also realized that another sprinkler wasn’t working properly. After fiddling with it for 20 minutes with no success, I noticed ANOTHER sprinkler with its hose detached. I went to the front yard and fixed it. Then magically the other sprinkler started to work, annoying sprinkler stopped hit the window, and I was happily climbing back into bed. Sadly, I was wide awake. Damn you backyard… but I fell asleep for a bit longer.
But my efforts with the backyard weren’t complete for the evening. When I got home from softball (another victory) I started to spray the weeds, rake the rotting loquot fruit from the ground, and weeding the flower beds. I wanted to get that all done to do the fun project…hanging lights. I bought some cool icicle lights to hang from my house to my garage for my Sangria party on Saturday. After two hours of messing with them, I realized that these icicle lights were just too heavy to do what I wanted to do. In the process I probably smashed at least 30 lights that I now I have to replace. At around 10:30, after messing with another hose for 20 minutes for yet another sprinkler to water another dead spot on the yard, I came in a broken man. The yard had destroyed my pride and will. People said that I couldn’t get field turf, but I’m second guessing their wisdom because it sounds really good right about now.
