Filed under: Uncategorized
I’m trying to write without the title first. I used to tell my students to title the work after it’s done. Usually, being the master writer, I know where my work is going to end. Tonight I don’t know really what I’m writing. I’m just writing what appears on my hands. I’m listening to Natalie Merchant who is one of my favorite artists. I feel terrible for skipping the gym today. I was actually there and started to work out and left. I’ve never done that before since I started working out on a regular basis for the past six years. I was tired and not having it. Oh well.
I’ve been saying “Oh Well” to many things come of late. To buying a house– Oh well. To saving all my money– Oh well. To drinking– Oh well. I’m kind of drifting at the moment without direction. It’s okay. It’s summer and I don’t have the drive really to do much. I love the sound of a good horn in a song. It’s soothing for some reason. “Break Your Heart” by Natalie Merchant is one of the classiest songs that I know. It’s just so graceful in its composition. It’s words are beautiful. Too bad she’s been overlooked so much.
Don’t spread the discontent–don’t spread the lies–don’t make the same mistakes with your own life… classic.
Filed under: politics
It’s election year. I have been a pretty good boy about not going off about either candidate. I’m a moderate Democrat. I don’t mind nor have a problem with crossing the party line for what I feel is right. This year, I am supporting Obama for President. I selected him because I think he possesses the best set of skills to help repair the relationships the Bush Administration have burned over the past eight years. Obama is also smart enough to surround himself with people that will not be his yes men. I respect him for that. People that aren’t afraid of speaking what they feel is right. Well done… if he does it.
I will not say I will be disappointed if McCain is elected either. I believe he is a good man. His values on some issues do not fall in line with mine completely. Yet, I think he will do great things for building America stronger. He’s been around the block a few times and probably has a few people in his pocket.
I’m past the “Anything is Better than Bush” propaganda. When the dust settles, Bush will replace Jimmy Carter as in most popular circles as the worst President of the United States. It’s not a great honor but someone has to own it. The ironic thing about Carter is that many of the programs he tried to get started in the 70s would have saved our country today–such as alternative energy and conservation programs. The metric system–well, not so much. Who is the crazy one now? Not ol’ Jimmy.
Bush is just plain arrogant. He surrounded him with loyal people–which I can respect. But those loyal people didn’t have the balls to tell him he was an idiot. I think he thought the American people was going to bend over and take it without any lube or a reach around. He should have learned as Governor that the Texans were stubborn about their land. What different would be of the Americans?
Our election of George W. Bush just proved why the electoral college is in place. It’s to protect ourselves from ourselves. This time it just back fired. Those old guys back in the 1770s couldn’t get it all right.
John Mayer… gotta love the guy.
I am winding down for a very nice weekend. It started in San Francisco with my buddy Julie at a Giants game where I got sunburned and they lost. However, it was nice to spend the fourth with such a great event. Julie and I were walking in downtown SF after the game and as the black and orange slowly faded in the crowd, I got philosophical. I told her that we just had a shared experience with 40,000 people that we will most likely never see again. Think about how many people you come in contact with that you don’t know, but have done the same thing as them. Pretty amazing.
Well we scored some super Muni ticket that basically got us around town for $1.50 each. We took the bus down to Pier 39 with the intention of hanging out until dinner. We found ourselves at Gharedlli (sp) Square scoping out a cupcake shop and experiencing a wine tasting. I will recommend that wine tasting is not a good idea after sitting out in the sun at a baseball game, while being slightly dehydrated, and tired. But what the hell.. 5 buck tasting. I’m in. Well, I got drunk off the tasting. Then proceeded to try to be sly in the chocolate shop and steal an extra square… success was mine! (:
We decided not to stay for the fireworks after a wonderful Italian dinner at Pinocchio’s (North Beach) and headed back to hotel. Neither of us really wanted to deal with the crowds on the train back to our hotel. We got back and both crashed out.
On Saturday we headed down to Carmel for my friends Sarah and Matt’s wedding. It was a beautifully simple wedding. It wasn’t about the flash, more the substance. The wedding was what it was supposed to be–the celebration of their journey together so far. It was a corky little retreat in Carmel Valley the screamed beach community. It was nice to see some of my friends from my old school I used to work. The reception was lovely and we came back to relax and talk about the future in the hot tub. Julie asked me what I wanted my wedding like and I told her a small gathering in a forest in the fall. I know it sounds weird but put me in a forest and a feel at peace.
Today we headed back home. It’s about 5 hours from Carmel to Chico. I plugged the ipod in and headed north. On Highway 1 as we were leaving, the morning fog still hadn’t lifted. It made me miss and appreciate living there. I know there’s a plan for me and it didn’t involve me staying there. Still, I didn’t appreciate what I had there until I came back as a visitor. It’s so beautiful and serene. I loved my job and the people I worked with at my school. But I jumped for a reason, I just haven’t figured out exactly what that is yet.
Speaking of that, I was swimming tonight with Sandy and we were having a conversation about the future. For the past two years, my head and heart have been battling. My heart wants me to go back to education. It knows I belong there. My heart also knows that at the end of the LONG day that I will feel I made a little difference and our world is a little better for it. My heart knows I would love the challenge of helping a kid see their potential and their skills. My head knows that the money is with HJ. It also knows that if I’m patient with this business I will be extremely successful. My head also knows my stress level is at an all time low. My head enjoys the Free Fridays and Pajama Mondays.
So, the trip was a great reminder of the constant struggle that my head and heart has. However, there’s one thing that my head and heart agree on… how much they both value and love my friends that have been loyal and supportive to me. That their lives have touched me and made me a little better for who they are.
Filed under: me
Instead of me babbling about my day (nothing great to report) I am going to share a few random thoughts that have been swirling in my head.
1. I think I’m a hedonist. If it feels good, then do it doesn’t always work. Remember that there are other things that feel good and you can’t do them all. I need things to have values to be placed in order to make a decision. I was recalling a lesson on hedons from junior college. I googled it just to make sure I was correct. Of course I was. (: For those who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, here’s the cheat sheet:
A hedon is a unit of pleasure used by utilitarians. A utilitarian will probably grant you that saying something like: “Eating a really tasty sandwichgives me five hedons of pleasure, but having sex with my SOgives me five hundred hedons of pleasure.” sounds completely arbitrary. They don’t really want to imply that this is actually some kind of perfect objective measurement. What a utilitarian really wants to say here is that having sex is a hundred times more pleasurable than eating a sandwich.
Hedons are often used in conjunction with dolors in examples of hedonistic calculus. For example: “going to the dentist may cost me fifty dolors of pain now, but I will gain seventy hedons of pleasure from having healthy teeth and gums. I have a net of twenty hedons therefore I should go to the dentist.”
Everything is a cost/benefit analysis in my head. Most of the time logic prevails. Still, there are those times at 2 a.m. a few slices of pep pizza find my mouth.
2. Business Ventures
My friend Sandy and I are seriously talking about starting another business venture together. I can totally trust her in business. I just need to see if I really want to work harder. I enjoy my slower pace of life. Yet, I am confident that it will do well and we have a location that wouldn’t fail. So we are just talking about it now… but we need to start thinking business plan.
3. My laptop while sleeping
Last night I didn’t have my laptop in my room while I was sleeping last night. I slept almost completely through the night without any interruptions. I didn’t really DO anything different in the day that would require me to do sleep deeper. Except, I left the laptop in my living room and didn’t bring it to bed. So tonight, I brought it with me tonight to see what happens.
I also use my ipod when I sleep. However, this article from NOLA says:
Teens also associate falling asleep to music by playing devices such as iPods but in reality their sleep is fragmented and disrupted by the music, he said.
Now, I’m not a teen anymore, but this was still interesting.
4. When I was a teen
I was a pretty happy kid. I was involved, generally well liked, and successful at most things I tried. The past few weeks, I have been more sensitive to the “best times of my life.” That’s a lie–because that would be college for me. But like I said, high school was pretty neat. I watched Charlie Bartlett again today on DVD. It just reminded me how much potential and growth people have during their teenage years. I spent the later part of this evening scanning some pictures of my old classmates for this website we created for pictures. Amazing enough people responded and starting putting them up. I was looking at one, someone put up of me. I just reminded me that a.) I look like Ken’s son when I was younger and b.) life does fly by so quickly. Just like in the movie “Finding Neverland” when they are talking about the crocodile in Peter Pan. That time is like the crocodile–always chasing us reminding us that our time is running out.
Well here’s to you younger Robby. I hope I have done you proud.
I got a call from my friend Susan this evening asking if I was doing anything tonight. I told her I wasn’t and she asked me to come over to help with her daughter’s grad video. It has become a tradition for us to put together a video for each of her kids as they graduate. It’s a fun project that both of us contribute to doing.
I spent a good amount of time tonight collecting the right pictures to put together the show. Afterwards, her and Aidan, her son, decided to watch “Mad Money.” I hadn’t seen it and they asked me to stay. Well after the movie, I headed home to find a silver bug parked in my spot.
Our complex doesn’t have assigned parking exactly. However, I have been parking in the same spot for the past two years and it’s RIGHT next to my duplex. This new chick moved in across the way and decided that it must be hers. So, tonight as I got home, I parked RIGHT in front of her and left my lights shinning for an extra minute or so. Then, I locked my car four times–complete with four honks of the horn. As I was walking into my house, I noticed she was looking out of her blinds. That’s right biotch… don’t mess up the world balance we have going here. You are new–so I will give you fair warning. But mess up the my system of living and I will make your life a living hell… a little horn at midnight at a time.
